Care less, live more!

Lessons in learning to give less of yourself and slowing down.

Photo by CRYSTALWEED cannabis on Unsplash

I used to sit glued to my laptop Monday to Friday, convinced that working longer meant working better. Now I sometimes shut my laptop for a two to three-hour midday break, and somehow, I’m still getting just as much done.

I mentioned in a recent post that I couldn’t believe myself when I left work early for the spa instead of squeezing in more client projects. This is one benefit of freelancing, but in the almost eight years I’ve had my small content marketing and writing business, I’ve rarely taken full advantage of the freedom and flexibility.

Is this really my life?

Only in the past year have I learned how to slow down while still getting the same amount of work done. It’s funny how that works. I used to sit at my laptop all day, bouncing between Slack messages, checking in on clients, making sure I was visible and “active.”

I was busy, but I wasn’t always getting shit done.

By the end of most workdays, I felt like my eyes were about to fall out of my head. I wanted to sprawl out on the floor, stare at the television, or just stare out the window. (OK, I admit, I still like to stare out the window before, during, and after work.)

But now, rather than feeling like my brain is melting by 6 pm, I actually have energy left.

So what’s my secret?

I wish I had something groundbreaking to tell you. But honestly, for me, it’s just about caring less.

Yep, that’s right. I don’t care—at least not as much as I used to.

I care about 70% instead of 100%. The work still gets done. It’s still high-quality. And I still have energy after work for hobbies like playing padel, reading, oil painting, and craft nights with girlfriends.

But how do you care less?

Oof, that’s a loaded question because we all care about different things.

For me, the game-changer was realizing that most people don’t care as much as I do. So, as an overachieving people-pleaser, I figured—if I lowered the quality of everything I did by 30%, no one would even notice.

It works.

It reduces stress because I’m less mentally invested in every single thing and because I’ve lowered the impossible standards I put on myself.

So if one day I check three things off my to-do list and the next day I barely touch one, I still feel OK.

I don’t beat myself up. I don’t try to overcompensate by churning out more work the next day. I just accept that this is how life works.

We can’t be on all the time. We can’t care about everything.

We need time to rest, recharge, and clear our heads so we can return to the task with a fresh perspective.

This, my friends, is how I crawled out of burnout—burnout I didn’t even realize I was experiencing at the time.

Freelancers aren’t really “free”

As I write this, I realize this is something most freelancers struggle with.

The freedom is great, but we’re not really free. We do the work, but we also run the business. We handle accounting, sales, marketing, invoicing, business taxes—the list goes on.

And then there’s that lingering fear…What if all our clients dump us at the same time? What if freelancing isn’t as secure as we tell ourselves?

I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this: I’m going to continue caring less, working smarter, and leaving my laptop behind for the spa.

You should too.

See you soon,

Alexis

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I post off-the-cuff writing here. When I feel inspired and like I have something to say, you’ll hear from me up to 2x a week. When I don’t have much to say, you’ll hear from me at least 1x per month. If you liked what you just read, consider subscribing to support my independent writing and creative freedom.

Comments

1. Have you ever experienced burnout? How did you overcome it?

2. In the Netherlands, where I live, you can take burnout leave and still get paid your full salary (if you’re a full-time employee). As someone who grew up in the US, this blows my mind. What are the burnout policies in your country?

3. How many hours of deep work do you do each day? For me, it’s a maximum of four hours.

4. Are you a freelancer too?

5. What’s up?