Thank you for reading, Rea! And for your kind words. The experience was indeed liberating as soon as I was able to let go of what I thought my life plan was/should be and embrace the unknown. I honestly sometimes miss that time in my life!
It helps that Amsterdam offers a respite from the hustle and grind culture, and simply allows you to slow down (notice the breeze in your hair) and work on yourself!
What an inspiring story! When you’re at your lowest, you also have the least to lose. All those things that seemed too scary before suddenly aren’t nearly so intimidating. Because why the hell not!
Glad your divorce led to a whole new amazing life!
Alexis, this spoke to me. I divorced after nearly 30 years of marriage in 2024, and your essay felt like reading a chapter from my own life: the unraveling, the shedding, the uncomfortable resurrection of self. I’m reinventing in Nashville now, learning what life looks like on the other side of vows and survival. Thank you for writing this. Women who rebuild at our age aren’t broken...we are becoming.
Oh yes. Even more things we have in common! I paid rent on my Mexico City apartment for months before giving it up and surrendering to my new life in Italy. Never did open that bank account, though. Let's consider that a next step when I'm finally in my new home base...hopefully early next year!
Baby steps! It takes time but I felt like once I let go of having a plan, it was a wild ride (in a good way!). I’m excited for you! Do you have an idea of where your home base will be yet?
This is lovely and well done to you! Failure, schmailure, it's about learning and experiencing and fucking up and figuring it out (this is what I tell myself!).
I can't say there are similarities between us, but there are some loose (ish?) parallels - I'm divorced (happily, in my case) and embracing being a single father and I am perfectly content with how it's played out. I have zero interest in a relationship, just happy to bounce along and do my thing, hang out with my daughter.
But as you know, that's not to say life is all rosy and happy-clappy, with having to leave Ukraine and all. It's just that this outcome, marriage-wise, has been an overall positive/learning experience/etc and I'm somehow doing okay with it - why quibble, eh? 😉
I agree! Life is just one big learning experience. 😊 I’m also happily divorced and content, more so after the fact though. Do you feel like the love and companionship you get from your daughter is partially what makes you uninterested in relationships for the time being? I could see that happening to me if I had a kid. Plus long-term romantic relationships can just be fucking hard. They’re still worth it to me, but that’s the truth. ✌️
It might sound cruel, but no, that's not what makes me uninterested in relationships. If I didn't have her, I'm almost certain it would be the same. I've always been independent and happy on my own, and I don't mean that at all in a lothario way at all! Honestly, I'm just lazy and apathetic, maybe even borderline asexual? (I don't want to get too personal here 😂 - I recorded a podcast last week about dating and relationships and we both shared a lot of intimate details and I probably confessed way too much!)
Haha, you’ll have to be patient, it’s not ready yet. We talked for nearly 2 hours and were both drinking (that’s why I call my podcast Drinkglish), I need to edit it down to a more manageable 30 (ish?) minutes.
This is such a beautiful reminder that what feels like failure can actually be redirection. I love the honesty about the shame at 33 — that pressure to follow the “normal” timeline is so real, especially for women. The details of the canalside apartment and those early rooftop nights make the reinvention feel tangible, not just symbolic.
This is such a liberating post, Alexis. I'm glad you found your home.
Thank you for reading, Rea! And for your kind words. The experience was indeed liberating as soon as I was able to let go of what I thought my life plan was/should be and embrace the unknown. I honestly sometimes miss that time in my life!
It helps that Amsterdam offers a respite from the hustle and grind culture, and simply allows you to slow down (notice the breeze in your hair) and work on yourself!
That’s totally true, Josephine! It has been such a nice change from hectic NYC. Thanks for reading! 🙏🏻
Love reading your story. Only problem - now I want to go to Amsterdam and live for a couple of months 😆
Haha. Thank you. Appreciate you taking the time to read it. And that sounds like a solid plan. 😜
What an inspiring story! When you’re at your lowest, you also have the least to lose. All those things that seemed too scary before suddenly aren’t nearly so intimidating. Because why the hell not!
Glad your divorce led to a whole new amazing life!
I agree! Why the hell not! 😊 Thanks for reading, and for your thoughtful comment. 🙏🏻
Alexis, this spoke to me. I divorced after nearly 30 years of marriage in 2024, and your essay felt like reading a chapter from my own life: the unraveling, the shedding, the uncomfortable resurrection of self. I’m reinventing in Nashville now, learning what life looks like on the other side of vows and survival. Thank you for writing this. Women who rebuild at our age aren’t broken...we are becoming.
I’m glad my story was relatable. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words. We are becoming… love that!!
I really enjoyed the piece Alexis.
Thanks so much for reading! More cooking coming soon, too. 😬
Interesting and inspiring story. Very nice photos!
Thank you!!
Oh yes. Even more things we have in common! I paid rent on my Mexico City apartment for months before giving it up and surrendering to my new life in Italy. Never did open that bank account, though. Let's consider that a next step when I'm finally in my new home base...hopefully early next year!
Baby steps! It takes time but I felt like once I let go of having a plan, it was a wild ride (in a good way!). I’m excited for you! Do you have an idea of where your home base will be yet?
Yes! Thinking Barcelona😍
This is lovely and well done to you! Failure, schmailure, it's about learning and experiencing and fucking up and figuring it out (this is what I tell myself!).
I can't say there are similarities between us, but there are some loose (ish?) parallels - I'm divorced (happily, in my case) and embracing being a single father and I am perfectly content with how it's played out. I have zero interest in a relationship, just happy to bounce along and do my thing, hang out with my daughter.
But as you know, that's not to say life is all rosy and happy-clappy, with having to leave Ukraine and all. It's just that this outcome, marriage-wise, has been an overall positive/learning experience/etc and I'm somehow doing okay with it - why quibble, eh? 😉
I agree! Life is just one big learning experience. 😊 I’m also happily divorced and content, more so after the fact though. Do you feel like the love and companionship you get from your daughter is partially what makes you uninterested in relationships for the time being? I could see that happening to me if I had a kid. Plus long-term romantic relationships can just be fucking hard. They’re still worth it to me, but that’s the truth. ✌️
It might sound cruel, but no, that's not what makes me uninterested in relationships. If I didn't have her, I'm almost certain it would be the same. I've always been independent and happy on my own, and I don't mean that at all in a lothario way at all! Honestly, I'm just lazy and apathetic, maybe even borderline asexual? (I don't want to get too personal here 😂 - I recorded a podcast last week about dating and relationships and we both shared a lot of intimate details and I probably confessed way too much!)
Oooo where is that podcast??? Link pls!
Haha, you’ll have to be patient, it’s not ready yet. We talked for nearly 2 hours and were both drinking (that’s why I call my podcast Drinkglish), I need to edit it down to a more manageable 30 (ish?) minutes.
Ugh. Ok ok. Fine. Lol. Look forward to watching/listening (when you’re ready!).
If you like I can share the 2 hour file and you can edit it 😉🤣
This is such a beautiful reminder that what feels like failure can actually be redirection. I love the honesty about the shame at 33 — that pressure to follow the “normal” timeline is so real, especially for women. The details of the canalside apartment and those early rooftop nights make the reinvention feel tangible, not just symbolic.