I failed my mental load test, here's what I'm doing about it
Small changes that I hope will make a big impact.
Hi friends,
The other night, I told my boyfriend that even adding something as light as a feather to my mental load might break me. Then I went down a familiar Google rabbit hole—this time, searching “mental load.” You know, that invisible weight we carry from all the tiny (and not-so-tiny) decisions, tasks, and emotional labor that make up our lives.
I took a 24-question mental load quiz that I found online to validate what I already knew. It was simple—just rate how much you agree with statements about your day-to-day responsibilities. I took it with a grain of salt, of course. Still, I scored 21% higher than average. The quiz didn’t ask for my age or personal context, but even so, the results made me pause.
How much of my stress is truly unavoidable? And how much is within my power to change?
Some of it, I can’t change. I can’t undo the fact that my mom has dementia. I can’t avoid managing her finances, healthcare, and paperwork from across the ocean. I can’t outsource the emotional weight of slowly losing her to a disease that steals memories one by one. But I can do some things. Small things. And those small things add up.
So, I made a list of everything occupying my brain—visible and invisible to others, daily and weekly. When I looked at it, I thought: no wonder I feel like I’m about to crack.
Then, I started experimenting with a few changes to lighten the load. None of them is groundbreaking. Some are obvious. But they’re helping. A little. And a little is better than nothing.
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Behind the paywall are 10 lifestyle adjustments that are helping to reduce my mental load. Thanks so much for supporting my work. It means a lot to me.
