Thank you for your reflections on your mother’s journey. I read with such curiosity and interest as it is somewhat similar to my mom’s death with Alzheimer’s. When I visited my mom a few days before her death I really leaned in to hug her and I felt her hug back with her shoulder and head. I really felt her presence with me which made me wonder if the body is communicating what her words and mind could not.
There is such a strong felt connection between us with our mothers and I have read that you still have cells from your mother in your body so who knows how connected we are. I was surprised how much loss I felt when she died as she had been absent on a verbal communication basis for years. But I can hear her voice speaking to me at times. It is an interesting journey.
I wish you great peace in this new life without your beautiful mother.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Barbara. It's nice to hear from people who have been through a similar experience. I do believe she's somewhere here inside me. It is an interesting journey, indeed. How long ago did you lose your mother?
I was your mom’s roommate for 4 years at Wheaton College. I have spent years trying to find her, to catch up. To remember. Your description of her matched my memories. Reserved, dignified, at times emotionally distant. I have stories and some old photos. I remember your grandparents. You can find me at: janeamartin.substack.com
I heard from our two other roommates, Terry and Carol Ann. We are all kind of numb. Amy was the perfect one. Beautiful. Intelligent. Pretty adept at the viola. A whiz at languages. Funny. She was one of a kind. I am having trouble processing her death. She just seemed stronger than death.
Anyway, we lost touch, even though I tried to reach out. I wish I had tried harder.
Wow, Jane! Waking up to your comment today warmed my heart. Thanks for all your kind words and your condolences. I agree, she did seem stronger, but I guess it comes for all of us eventually. I have sent you a direct message as I'd love to connect further, if you're willing! <3
I'm so sorry, Alexis, I welled up reading this. I was wondering about your dear mother - I think I saw you reference this in a comment on another post or note and I then thought I'd missed something, but now I see what happened. Your mother was lucky to have your brother to care for her and it was good you got to be there for the end.
As my mother shows more and more signs of dementia (she's 76)...I'm not sure how to finish this thought. She has my father, at least.
Thanks, Daniel. I'm sorry to hear about your mom again. It's tough! It is great that she has your father. My mom was happily single, but it made it all a bit harder to navigate (at least it felt that way). I don't know how far along your mom is, but at some point, I hope your father will accept that he can't do it on his own... It becomes a 24/7 job at some point. Thanks again for reading, and I hope everything else is going well in your world!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Alexis. I imagine it’s years of processing the death of a loved one, especially a parent. This was a beautiful start & piece to share with us. Sending you a big hug.
Oh Alexis. My heart is heavy for you. What a beautiful way to document your journey. Thank you for sharing that with us...and Amazing Amy too. I hope you write more about her in the future. Be gentle with yourself. I always tell my clients, "yes this is as bad as you think it is; don't invalidate your grief, and do your best to distance yourself from those who may be trying to invalidate it for you."
So sorry for your loss Alexis! It’s a touching piece, thank you for letting us into your world. Losing a parent is never easy, motherless daughter speaking here 💔 ❤️
This is such a beautiful, loving tribute. I hope these words bring you comfort and a sense of closeness to your mom as you work through the grieving process.
Thank you for your reflections on your mother’s journey. I read with such curiosity and interest as it is somewhat similar to my mom’s death with Alzheimer’s. When I visited my mom a few days before her death I really leaned in to hug her and I felt her hug back with her shoulder and head. I really felt her presence with me which made me wonder if the body is communicating what her words and mind could not.
There is such a strong felt connection between us with our mothers and I have read that you still have cells from your mother in your body so who knows how connected we are. I was surprised how much loss I felt when she died as she had been absent on a verbal communication basis for years. But I can hear her voice speaking to me at times. It is an interesting journey.
I wish you great peace in this new life without your beautiful mother.
Barbara
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Barbara. It's nice to hear from people who have been through a similar experience. I do believe she's somewhere here inside me. It is an interesting journey, indeed. How long ago did you lose your mother?
I was your mom’s roommate for 4 years at Wheaton College. I have spent years trying to find her, to catch up. To remember. Your description of her matched my memories. Reserved, dignified, at times emotionally distant. I have stories and some old photos. I remember your grandparents. You can find me at: janeamartin.substack.com
I heard from our two other roommates, Terry and Carol Ann. We are all kind of numb. Amy was the perfect one. Beautiful. Intelligent. Pretty adept at the viola. A whiz at languages. Funny. She was one of a kind. I am having trouble processing her death. She just seemed stronger than death.
Anyway, we lost touch, even though I tried to reach out. I wish I had tried harder.
I am sorry.
Jane A Martin
Wow, Jane! Waking up to your comment today warmed my heart. Thanks for all your kind words and your condolences. I agree, she did seem stronger, but I guess it comes for all of us eventually. I have sent you a direct message as I'd love to connect further, if you're willing! <3
I'm so sorry, Alexis, I welled up reading this. I was wondering about your dear mother - I think I saw you reference this in a comment on another post or note and I then thought I'd missed something, but now I see what happened. Your mother was lucky to have your brother to care for her and it was good you got to be there for the end.
As my mother shows more and more signs of dementia (she's 76)...I'm not sure how to finish this thought. She has my father, at least.
🫂🤗👐
Thanks, Daniel. I'm sorry to hear about your mom again. It's tough! It is great that she has your father. My mom was happily single, but it made it all a bit harder to navigate (at least it felt that way). I don't know how far along your mom is, but at some point, I hope your father will accept that he can't do it on his own... It becomes a 24/7 job at some point. Thanks again for reading, and I hope everything else is going well in your world!
Amazing Amy 💛
Aaaaaammmaaazzzinnggg ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss, Alexis. I imagine it’s years of processing the death of a loved one, especially a parent. This was a beautiful start & piece to share with us. Sending you a big hug.
Thanks, Asia! ❤️ I appreciate your kind words and that you took the time to read while I process in real-time.
It has been almost two years to the day. So it was interesting timing that I read your piece today.
I’m glad it came at the right time for you. :)
Yes it did. Thank you.
Oh Alexis. My heart is heavy for you. What a beautiful way to document your journey. Thank you for sharing that with us...and Amazing Amy too. I hope you write more about her in the future. Be gentle with yourself. I always tell my clients, "yes this is as bad as you think it is; don't invalidate your grief, and do your best to distance yourself from those who may be trying to invalidate it for you."
That’s great advice, Niki. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. ❤️
So sorry for your loss Alexis! It’s a touching piece, thank you for letting us into your world. Losing a parent is never easy, motherless daughter speaking here 💔 ❤️
Thanks, Carmen, for reading and for your thoughtful comment. Sending hugs your way. ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your mama with us. ❤️
Thank you for reading and for your kind words. ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
Back at ya! ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss
Thank you 🙏🏻
This is such a beautiful, loving tribute. I hope these words bring you comfort and a sense of closeness to your mom as you work through the grieving process.