Keeping it real with Marie-Elizabeth Mali from Sex, Death & Cash

"Finally unhooking from my drivenness is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself."

Hey!

How’s it going? Today, I’m sharing a short interview with Marie-Elizabeth Mali, the woman behind Sex, Death & Cash on Substack. She writes about the things we're not supposed to talk about—much less claim—that hold the keys to our personal freedom. She's also a mentor to women of means who are ditching the good-girl rules to become the leaders we need now, a former relationship coach, writer, truth bitch, and dog mom.

Read on to find out what she wishes more women were honest about, advice she’d give her younger self, what exciting and terrifying things she’s working on right now, and more!

Enjoy!

ALEXIS: Who are you, and what should we know about you right off the bat?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: I’m a multi-passionate woman in my 50s who grew up in New York between three cultures—Venezuelan, Swedish, and American—speaking Spanish, Swedish, and eventually English, by the age of three.

This created a fascination with what makes people tick, understanding that there’s not one right way to do everything (as those who grew up in a monoculture tend to believe), although that doesn’t mean I don’t have my share of control freak tendencies.

I’ve worked in the healing and coaching world for over 35 years, including having a Master’s in Traditional Oriental Medicine and recently working as a relationship coach for the past 8 years, until 2023.

I’m also a published poet with an MFA in Poetry, as well as an underwater photographer who has a thing for sharks!

Blissfully child-free, my husband, Patrick, our two dogs, and I split the year between San José Del Cabo, Mexico, and Culver City, CA, which is a part of Los Angeles.

ALEXIS: What’s something you’re working on right now—professionally or personally—that feels exciting, terrifying, or both?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Maybe it’s cliché, but starting my Substack publication, Sex, Death & Cash—which is also the working title of the book I'm also working on—is both exciting and terrifying.

I’m challenging myself to tell intimate stories about what I call the ‘taboo trilogy’ of topics we tend to avoid that hold the keys to our personal freedom.

So far, it’s been a positive experience, and still, every time I hit publish, it’s a sweaty and breathless experience.

ALEXIS: What part of your life feels the most real, raw, or ridiculous right now?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: The writing part. I took a break from writing much besides social media content for my business for the past decade, so to be returning to personal essays and storytelling is super real and raw for me.

That said, I never left the real behind, since working with people around their relationships required a depth of realness from me as a model for how they could show up in their lives and relationships, too.

I’m just opening the kimono even more with these essays now, so to speak, hence the sweatiness.

ALEXIS: What’s your current version of self-care, no matter how chaotic or unconventional?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Besides the things you’d expect from someone deeply steeped in spiritual and wellness practices—red light, hyperbaric chamber, PEMF, peptides, meditation—my unconventional self-care practice these days is watching K-dramas.

I find the storytelling more creative than Western TV, and I’m tickled by their awkwardness around sex and desire. A couple of my faves are Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (on Viki Rakutan) and Alchemy of Souls (on Netflix).

ALEXIS: What’s one thing you wish more women were honest about?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Their desires.

We’ve been conditioned to orient around what others want (for themselves and for us), so to reclaim and be honest about our desires is a whole-ass THING.

Because we’ve been marginalized—less now in the West, current backlash notwithstanding—we tend to try to gain power in covert ways, like through disapproval and withholding, instead of being direct about what we want and don’t want.

I want to eradicate that shit, so we can sit fully in our power and communicate about who we are and what we want, which makes our lives way better, and the lives of everyone we know, too.

ALEXIS: If we opened your Notes app right now, what would we find?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Ahhhh, Notes is where I put everything I need access to on short notice.

Things like my bio, quotes, possible essay topics and titles, notes on books and other stuff that’s been recommended to me, plus lists of what to bring to Mexico or CA when I’m in one place or the other, since I tend to forget what I have or need where.

ALEXIS: What’s one piece of advice you’d give your younger self (or your current self, honestly)?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Finally unhooking from my drivenness is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

If I could have done it sooner by giving my younger self the advice that there’s truly nothing to prove, I would have saved myself years of overwork, stress, and burnout.

ALEXIS: What’s your definition of “success” these days?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Doing what I intend to do any given day, whether that’s completing my mobility exercises, meditating, writing an essay or a post, making a necessary phone call, or eating healthily without overeating.

Success these days has more to do with living with integrity and congruence than external metrics like reach, likes, comments, shares, or even dollars earned.

ALEXIS: What are you reading, watching, or listening to right now that’s bringing you joy, peace, or a necessary distraction?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Aside from K-dramas? 😆

I’ve been enjoying listening to and reading memoirs these days, as I write essays for Sex, Death & Cash with an eye toward my own memoir.

Some faves:

• Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood

• I’m Mostly Here To Enjoy Myself by Glynnis MacNicol

• You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

• Anything by Deborah Levy and Melissa Febos

I also recently discovered this jazz flute player, Bobbi Humphrey—the first female artist signed to Blue Note back in the day—when staying at a friend’s place who has a terrific record collection. I now have her album, Blacks and Blues, on repeat on Spotify.

ALEXIS: Where can we follow, support, or hire you, so we can all say “we knew her when”?

MARIE-ELIZABETH: Thank you for asking!

The main place to follow and support is Sex, Death & Cash on Substack.

I’m designing a new high-ticket mentorship offer for women of means with good hearts, so they can become game-changing leaders in their lives, relationships, and the world, by shedding the good-girl rules and unlocking the three limiters (sex, death & cash) currently throttling their power.

I’ll be opening one spot for such a woman later this year, and three to five spots in 2026, so if that’s of interest, please reach out to have a conversation and get on the waitlist.

Find Marie-Elizabeth at her website, on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Have questions for Marie-Elizabeth? Drop them in the comments below!

See you soon,

Alexis

P.S. If you’re interested in getting featured in this interview series, get in touch with me via DM!