Oh yes to all of this! There are also the 'chronically sociable and at the same time socially inept' ones. The ones who don't realize your one-word answers (because you're PMSing) mean you would rather set yourself on fire than talk to them.
I’d also add the “Make-Up Artists” who like to take their whole makeup bag out and proceed to carry out their entire skincare routine and apply their faces whilst on the train….. or is this just a British thing?!
I always, without fail, end up opposite The Staring Kid. I sometimes wonder if I'm haunted.
Number 13: The Late Night Snacker. Might be a bag of crisps, might be a discounted sandwich, might be half of Maccies pound saver menu - all you know is they skipped dinner for afterwork drinks and they're frantically trying to soak the booze up.
I think the loudspeaker short videos are an European thing. When I visited Italy a while back I was shocked by how normal it seemed. I was doing all the horror staring !!
This was hilarious. The Staring Kid and The Phone Oversharer had me wheezing. I swear I always attract the people who treat a five-minute ride like a full therapy session. I’ve learned way too much about strangers' divorces, medical conditions, and existential crises in the span of one bus stop. It always makes for the most awkward goodbye, like… do I hug them? Refer them to a therapist? Anyway, I loved this list.
Hahaha… that’s funny! I haven’t had an experience like that on a short trip, but once on a flight from Amsterdam to Orlando I sat next to a woman who chatted with me almost the whole time and I ended up sharing things with her about my mother’s Alzheimer’s (I was on my way to visit her, so it was hard to avoid), and she shared similarly tough/personal stuff with me. I contemplated asking for her number before we got off the plane, but then thought it might be creepy. Haha.
#13. The personal groomer: those who use public transit is their personal public location for applying trimming their fingernails, sending their clippings halfway across the train.
Given a lost passport in the heartland of China, we had to take a bus back to Beijing in order not to spend the rest of our lives in a there, raising pigs in the hinterlands. Needless to say, as Americans, we were in the minority on that particular bus. But it did have a remarkably hot water spigot in the middle of the bus to refill ones’s tea jugs.
I love things like this! My list of public transport pet hates/peeves/bugbears stretches into the 100s! I can add:
1 The Pole Huggers, especially when they squash your hand.
2 The Bring Your Bike/Scooter on at Rush Hour types, ignoring the fact that there's a carriage especially dedicated to this.
3 The Ones Who Start Moving to the Exit a stop or two ahead of time, paranoid that they won't be able to get out, continuously asking, if you're blocking their way, 'are you getting off at the next stop?' This is a very common Ukrainian thing.
4 The Ones Who Push to Get On before people can get out.
5 The Dummies Who Get Off and Just Stand There on the platform, preventing you from getting on because the doors close behind them before you can get through. This actually just happened to my daughter and I today on a bus. A woman and her 2 idiot kids (as a father, I can say this!) just got off the bus and stood there like dimwits, oblivious to the fact that we wanted to get on.
6 This is my favourite: The People Who Permanently Occupy Temporarily Vacated Space (what an absurd name!) - it's crowded, people are trying to get past, so you lean forward, or on your tiptoes to let them past and they just stop in that space you vacated for them, leaving you in a dreadfully awkward, uncomfortable position.
I once wrote a post in my pre-Substack days called 'The Metro Mentality in Ukraine' because there's some crazy shit that goes on there. The little old grannies ('babushkas') are particularly nasty creatures, elbowing you out of the way, pushing and shoving and darting like bunnies to get to the open seats. If they can move that fast and aggressively, they don't need to damn well sit down!
Those are all great additions! I feel like you could do a spin off post of your own on this topic! Many of the characters you mentioned are relatable! I used to hate the ones who push to get on before you’ve had a chance to get on in NYC. SO FRUSTRATING. Like, hello! Let me off and you’ll have more space to get on a-hole. lol
A spin off post? I could start an entire newsletter dedicated to it! Remember that Groucho Marks character and the whole rebranding thing? I keep putting it off, but I have a 3-part series coming one of these days, I keep putting it off. That part of my newsletter is meant to be dedicated to grumbling about the state of the world, and topics like this will be a part of that. I love this stuff!
lol the staring kid! I always want to make faces at them so badly.
Yeah! Sometimes I stick my tongue out. Lol. But then I’m also afraid their parent will think I’m some sorta creep!
Exactly!
Oh yes to all of this! There are also the 'chronically sociable and at the same time socially inept' ones. The ones who don't realize your one-word answers (because you're PMSing) mean you would rather set yourself on fire than talk to them.
Haaaaaa. Oh yes! I prefer not to be spoken to on public transit, regardless of where I am in my cycle! LOL #ProudBitch
I’d also add the “Make-Up Artists” who like to take their whole makeup bag out and proceed to carry out their entire skincare routine and apply their faces whilst on the train….. or is this just a British thing?!
Hahaha... oooo, that's a good one! I haven't seen it in the Netherlands, but I've seen it in NYC! :)
I always, without fail, end up opposite The Staring Kid. I sometimes wonder if I'm haunted.
Number 13: The Late Night Snacker. Might be a bag of crisps, might be a discounted sandwich, might be half of Maccies pound saver menu - all you know is they skipped dinner for afterwork drinks and they're frantically trying to soak the booze up.
Haha. That's a good one. We've all been there, too! At least, I know I have.
I’ve seen these people too! I’m the chatty one although I know how to read the room and will shut up if rebuffed.
Haha! I think that’s fine as long as you can read the room, as you said.
I think the loudspeaker short videos are an European thing. When I visited Italy a while back I was shocked by how normal it seemed. I was doing all the horror staring !!
Yeah, maybe! But I’ve also noticed it on the subway in NYC (mainly young people, maybe I’m just getting old? haha). Stare away! lol
Urgh. Youths.
This was hilarious. The Staring Kid and The Phone Oversharer had me wheezing. I swear I always attract the people who treat a five-minute ride like a full therapy session. I’ve learned way too much about strangers' divorces, medical conditions, and existential crises in the span of one bus stop. It always makes for the most awkward goodbye, like… do I hug them? Refer them to a therapist? Anyway, I loved this list.
Hahaha… that’s funny! I haven’t had an experience like that on a short trip, but once on a flight from Amsterdam to Orlando I sat next to a woman who chatted with me almost the whole time and I ended up sharing things with her about my mother’s Alzheimer’s (I was on my way to visit her, so it was hard to avoid), and she shared similarly tough/personal stuff with me. I contemplated asking for her number before we got off the plane, but then thought it might be creepy. Haha.
#13. The personal groomer: those who use public transit is their personal public location for applying trimming their fingernails, sending their clippings halfway across the train.
Grossssss haha. That’s the worst! Good addition!
Given a lost passport in the heartland of China, we had to take a bus back to Beijing in order not to spend the rest of our lives in a there, raising pigs in the hinterlands. Needless to say, as Americans, we were in the minority on that particular bus. But it did have a remarkably hot water spigot in the middle of the bus to refill ones’s tea jugs.
That’s a nice touch to what sounds like a stressful moment at the time. Glad you made it!
I love things like this! My list of public transport pet hates/peeves/bugbears stretches into the 100s! I can add:
1 The Pole Huggers, especially when they squash your hand.
2 The Bring Your Bike/Scooter on at Rush Hour types, ignoring the fact that there's a carriage especially dedicated to this.
3 The Ones Who Start Moving to the Exit a stop or two ahead of time, paranoid that they won't be able to get out, continuously asking, if you're blocking their way, 'are you getting off at the next stop?' This is a very common Ukrainian thing.
4 The Ones Who Push to Get On before people can get out.
5 The Dummies Who Get Off and Just Stand There on the platform, preventing you from getting on because the doors close behind them before you can get through. This actually just happened to my daughter and I today on a bus. A woman and her 2 idiot kids (as a father, I can say this!) just got off the bus and stood there like dimwits, oblivious to the fact that we wanted to get on.
6 This is my favourite: The People Who Permanently Occupy Temporarily Vacated Space (what an absurd name!) - it's crowded, people are trying to get past, so you lean forward, or on your tiptoes to let them past and they just stop in that space you vacated for them, leaving you in a dreadfully awkward, uncomfortable position.
I once wrote a post in my pre-Substack days called 'The Metro Mentality in Ukraine' because there's some crazy shit that goes on there. The little old grannies ('babushkas') are particularly nasty creatures, elbowing you out of the way, pushing and shoving and darting like bunnies to get to the open seats. If they can move that fast and aggressively, they don't need to damn well sit down!
Those are all great additions! I feel like you could do a spin off post of your own on this topic! Many of the characters you mentioned are relatable! I used to hate the ones who push to get on before you’ve had a chance to get on in NYC. SO FRUSTRATING. Like, hello! Let me off and you’ll have more space to get on a-hole. lol
A spin off post? I could start an entire newsletter dedicated to it! Remember that Groucho Marks character and the whole rebranding thing? I keep putting it off, but I have a 3-part series coming one of these days, I keep putting it off. That part of my newsletter is meant to be dedicated to grumbling about the state of the world, and topics like this will be a part of that. I love this stuff!
Ooooooo can’t wait! 😜
Haha brilliant! It sounds like London too!
Haha yes! I remember that from my visits to London as well! I love being able to cycle everywhere in AMS!