Also, I used to be literally The Cool Aunt. I was the last in my large family to have children and I was into to all my sibling's kids big time. We all loved it.
I don't know where to start. First, thank you for the email inviting me to unsubscribe. Here're the things - 1. I subscribe to just under 500 newsletters. I've found that I peruse most like a magazine rack in the grocery store aisle, on occasion when they float by in my feed. 2. There is not enough time in the day for (fill in this blank). 3. It's serendipitous that you are conscientiously managing your open rate because I love what you did with this email and plan to copy it soon. Second, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost mine to a drunk driver when I was 9, but other family members had dementia in their latter years and it's the greatest thief of all. Third, more serendipity...I had a terrible experience during recent power outages in our area about which I will write soon. Suffice it to say, I went haywire when we lost not only power and wifi but also mobile service. Lost my ever loving mind for a bit. I changed cell carriers and had planned to get a dumb phone or a minimalist phone but wasn't ready for all the things that needed to align to take that step. I ended up with the latest and best iPhone (first time in my life I went for the top of the line). I'm happy with it. But, all this to say I am doing a digital detox, slowly and inexorably. Also I love your no-buy year idea, but will start with one in one out. I already do a form of this called "shop in the basement", which began 4 years ago when we relocated back home to PA after 30+ years in Ohio. We downsized and it's obvious by the fact that our current home looks like a hoarder's house. This is too long a comment, lol, but my recent semi-retirement (from 2 full time jobs to one 24 hour a week gig) has given me the time to start cleansing EVERYTHING. True spring cleaning plus getting rid of things AND post those 2 steps I am going to do an energy cleanse/spiritual blessing of every room in my home. The pandemic 'stuck' some really bad energy to everything and I'm going to intentionally and mindfully rid our home of it. Thank you - for the email that sent me back to you. When I spend today unsubscribing to 200 substacks, yours will not be one of them. Please know I will read you when I see you float by and it will likely be just this serendipitous again.
Hi Cori! Thanks for your note here. I can confirm the engagement strategy I used is working! ;) So, feel free to steal it and let me know if you have any questions. You need to be sure to filter your subscriber list on a few different criteria. :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. That must've been/still is very difficult. BIG HUG!
Dementia certainly is a great big thief. SUCKS!
I love all your spring cleaning/cleansing plans! I'm all for it, and I'm always looking for ways to minimize and focus on what's essential.
Totally understand you can't read and engage with every single post. I'm happy you've found me again and look forward to the next time! <3
I had no clue about this test, thank you for sharing! I hope this unloading and reorganising helps you. I keep my phone on silent and in the bedroom during the day and have deleted lots of apps from it.
I unfollow anyone/anything in my inbox who wants me to double down on productivity because that gives me stress. Also, I love that I can read my fav people on this app instead :)
Mine is 29% higher than the average. Not quite enough to necessitate curling up into a ball, but definitely something to work on.
My phone/social media habits aren't a problem though. It's just constant overwhelm. Right now, it's because I feel the need to be more present on IG, TikTok, etc for book marketing/brand purposes. I'm kind of all over the place, spreading myself too thin, trying to figure out how social media works, and the techy stuff is such a struggle - remember that GIF thing you shared with me? I couldn't figure it out, I am so hopeless with tech and it stresses me out like crazy. I'm conflicted - I crave simplicity and more time away from my computer, more time to get back to deep reading, but I feel I have to be more online to make my writing 'career' a viable living.
Anyway, I'm just rambling. A simple 'like' and a 'good luck' will suffice as a response 🤣
I feel exactly the same regarding struggling with feeling like I need to put myself out there to grow my personal writing versus not wanting to be online at all. I think it’s a really difficult thing to balance, and you’re not the only one! I don’t have as many technical challenges as you though. lol. Sorry about that. Seriously, if you want to send me 3 photos for the GIF, I can make one for you. ;)
Maybe you could find an intern to help you get social media rolling? but also, why TikTok? lol I deleted that one a while ago after only trying it a few times. Which platform is your audience most likely to be on? Maybe master that one first (you are only one person) and then try the next one.
You're too kind Alexis, no worries about the GIF - (a) I need to learn these things myself, and (b) what was I saying about simplicity? 😉
An intern, haha, if only I could afford one, or even a SMM! I've had a few people giving me some good tips and feedback (millennials and gen Z colleagues/students on IG, for example).
My biggest question is, where is my audience of language learners? They are out there for sure, there's so much potential, and it seems most (especially in Eastern Europe, where I have my connections) are on IG and TikTok (and now Threads). LinkedIn also has a ton of ELT (English Language Teaching) professionals and I've recently popped up there to promote. And I'm about to start a YouTube channel (which, of all the options, is the one I actually would like to do - I think my idea, Drunkglish, is promising!). It's all the bells and whistles and fancy camerawork, sounds, edits, etc that scares me. I just want to be writing all the time, that's what I love the most 😭
Alexis, I struggle with to do lists too. I am curious: how do you feel that using Google Calendar instead of traditional lists has helped with the anxiety or mental load? Is it that you're scheduling three things max? Or does Google Calendar as a platform also have something to do with it?
Great question! I think it’s because I can break the list up into days. So whether it’s 3 tasks or less or more per day, I can schedule out the week without referring back to a long list to figure out what’s next. Each day, I know to refer to my calendar to see what I have on and I can take one day at a time. It makes it feel more manageable for me and easier to prioritize and plan my time. Especially because I have a few clients, so various projects.
But I also use it for personal reminders and then like crossing off an item on a to do list, once I complete it, I can delete it from my calendar, which feels good! And visually, the load also gets lighter each time I delete one of my to dos from my calendar.
I don’t think you have to use Google Calendar. That just happens to be what I use for all my scheduling and my personal agenda, so I know I’ll look at it every day. I can’t add a screenshot here in the comments, but if you want me to show you what I do, happy to send an image via DM! I probably could have made it clearer by adding one to this post. :)
Have I answered your question? Hope so! Otherwise, fire away. ;)
You did answer my question, thank you so much!! I think I do something similar-ish then. I like using a calendar over a to do list because it also helps me time block each item. That helps me to be realistic with how much time I might need to complete it and also takes the stress of "when today will I get to this" away because it's already scheduled in.
Makes sense! I don’t actually schedule a specific time for each item. I just add it as “all day” so it creates the 3 blocks (1 per task) and then I tackle them based on my mood throughout the day. Deep work is usually in the AM for me though! 😊
That's also a good approach. Time blocking also feels restrictive to me sometimes. I guess it's all trial and error and being open to what works one day and maybe not the next. Loved connecting over this with you!
It’s 21%. ;) I think if it was 46% higher, I’d probably curl up into a ball and hide. lol. But it is definitely hard, regardless! Anything you’d add to the list? :)
Umm spending lots of time in nature, reading escapism fiction books, and trying not to beat myself up too much? I also write done lists of everything I've done that day instead of to do lists and do bullet point journalling as I find it easier to get into than writing pages; so each line is a bullet point. It's weird but it works for me! I mean... sort of. There's obviously lot that isn't working too 😂
Haha. I think there was a glitch in the test. I’ve been walking more! Should have included that in this post. Love the idea of done lists and the bullet journal. I’m journaling digitally at the month, in Notion. Because I’m also trying to be a minimalist and all the paper journals were starting to pile up. 🤷🏻♀️
Ahhhhh. Sorry! I misunderstood your comment. That is quite high. Eeek! Are you in a ball right now? lol. I hope some of what I shared is helpful! What do you find works for you?
YES to all of this!!! I also have ~4~ inboxes #why and it's rediculous. And, those morning journaling sessions are EVERYTHING. Since reading the Artists Way I've been doing them and they really help so much. ♥️
They really do! I think I’ve only skipped 1 or 2 mornings in the ~8 months since I started morning pages. Glad you found this post relatable! Would you add anything?
Thanks! That’s one of my favorites too. At first, I would still sometimes reach in the drawer for my phone, but lately, I completely forget about it. It’s great!
Alexis, this is so relatable and helpful! Thank you for sharing your honest journey with mental load. Your practical tips, like airplane mode and decluttering, are inspiring. It's powerful to see you prioritizing your well-being while navigating caregiving. Your vulnerability is a gift, and your writing resonates deeply. Keep going! ❤️
That’s a great list. I still say I meditate a few times every day, but often these are just extended moments spent out of my head taking in the smells of the morning, the lives of birds, the stars and position of our galaxy, or all the life I find in the forest floor.
That’s a great addition to this list! I’m not great about meditating regularly. But I have been walking more lately, and that helps. Perhaps a form of meditation. I should have adding walking to my list! ;)
Also, I used to be literally The Cool Aunt. I was the last in my large family to have children and I was into to all my sibling's kids big time. We all loved it.
Cheers to all The Cool Aunts! You are probably still one. I don't think it's only reserved for kid-free women. :) Have a great Mother's Day, Cori! X
I don't know where to start. First, thank you for the email inviting me to unsubscribe. Here're the things - 1. I subscribe to just under 500 newsletters. I've found that I peruse most like a magazine rack in the grocery store aisle, on occasion when they float by in my feed. 2. There is not enough time in the day for (fill in this blank). 3. It's serendipitous that you are conscientiously managing your open rate because I love what you did with this email and plan to copy it soon. Second, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost mine to a drunk driver when I was 9, but other family members had dementia in their latter years and it's the greatest thief of all. Third, more serendipity...I had a terrible experience during recent power outages in our area about which I will write soon. Suffice it to say, I went haywire when we lost not only power and wifi but also mobile service. Lost my ever loving mind for a bit. I changed cell carriers and had planned to get a dumb phone or a minimalist phone but wasn't ready for all the things that needed to align to take that step. I ended up with the latest and best iPhone (first time in my life I went for the top of the line). I'm happy with it. But, all this to say I am doing a digital detox, slowly and inexorably. Also I love your no-buy year idea, but will start with one in one out. I already do a form of this called "shop in the basement", which began 4 years ago when we relocated back home to PA after 30+ years in Ohio. We downsized and it's obvious by the fact that our current home looks like a hoarder's house. This is too long a comment, lol, but my recent semi-retirement (from 2 full time jobs to one 24 hour a week gig) has given me the time to start cleansing EVERYTHING. True spring cleaning plus getting rid of things AND post those 2 steps I am going to do an energy cleanse/spiritual blessing of every room in my home. The pandemic 'stuck' some really bad energy to everything and I'm going to intentionally and mindfully rid our home of it. Thank you - for the email that sent me back to you. When I spend today unsubscribing to 200 substacks, yours will not be one of them. Please know I will read you when I see you float by and it will likely be just this serendipitous again.
Hi Cori! Thanks for your note here. I can confirm the engagement strategy I used is working! ;) So, feel free to steal it and let me know if you have any questions. You need to be sure to filter your subscriber list on a few different criteria. :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. That must've been/still is very difficult. BIG HUG!
Dementia certainly is a great big thief. SUCKS!
I love all your spring cleaning/cleansing plans! I'm all for it, and I'm always looking for ways to minimize and focus on what's essential.
Totally understand you can't read and engage with every single post. I'm happy you've found me again and look forward to the next time! <3
Have a great weekend!
You have an amazing weekend yourself. Here’s to a spot of the fermented grape with your mom’s paperwork tomorrow🎉✨
I had no clue about this test, thank you for sharing! I hope this unloading and reorganising helps you. I keep my phone on silent and in the bedroom during the day and have deleted lots of apps from it.
I unfollow anyone/anything in my inbox who wants me to double down on productivity because that gives me stress. Also, I love that I can read my fav people on this app instead :)
Great idea to keep your phone in another room! I do that often, too. Also love reading all my fave people here on Substack.
Excellent list, Alexis- some great points. My wife and I got rid of Facebook a few weeks ago and genuinely don’t miss it at all.
I’ve been doing a similar thing with the phone for a while now - airplane mode, leave it downstairs overnight.
I deleted the Substack app on Saturday morning to try and do a weekend without (and be more present etc etc.) Lasted until 11am. Work to be done!
That’s great! I never bring my phone into my bedroom anymore. I love it this way.
I still have my Facebook account, but deleted the app from my phone. But leaving FB completely is probably a good idea too. I never use it anymore!
I have the same struggles with Substack! Haha.
Glad you enjoyed the list!
Mine is 29% higher than the average. Not quite enough to necessitate curling up into a ball, but definitely something to work on.
My phone/social media habits aren't a problem though. It's just constant overwhelm. Right now, it's because I feel the need to be more present on IG, TikTok, etc for book marketing/brand purposes. I'm kind of all over the place, spreading myself too thin, trying to figure out how social media works, and the techy stuff is such a struggle - remember that GIF thing you shared with me? I couldn't figure it out, I am so hopeless with tech and it stresses me out like crazy. I'm conflicted - I crave simplicity and more time away from my computer, more time to get back to deep reading, but I feel I have to be more online to make my writing 'career' a viable living.
Anyway, I'm just rambling. A simple 'like' and a 'good luck' will suffice as a response 🤣
I feel exactly the same regarding struggling with feeling like I need to put myself out there to grow my personal writing versus not wanting to be online at all. I think it’s a really difficult thing to balance, and you’re not the only one! I don’t have as many technical challenges as you though. lol. Sorry about that. Seriously, if you want to send me 3 photos for the GIF, I can make one for you. ;)
Maybe you could find an intern to help you get social media rolling? but also, why TikTok? lol I deleted that one a while ago after only trying it a few times. Which platform is your audience most likely to be on? Maybe master that one first (you are only one person) and then try the next one.
You're too kind Alexis, no worries about the GIF - (a) I need to learn these things myself, and (b) what was I saying about simplicity? 😉
An intern, haha, if only I could afford one, or even a SMM! I've had a few people giving me some good tips and feedback (millennials and gen Z colleagues/students on IG, for example).
My biggest question is, where is my audience of language learners? They are out there for sure, there's so much potential, and it seems most (especially in Eastern Europe, where I have my connections) are on IG and TikTok (and now Threads). LinkedIn also has a ton of ELT (English Language Teaching) professionals and I've recently popped up there to promote. And I'm about to start a YouTube channel (which, of all the options, is the one I actually would like to do - I think my idea, Drunkglish, is promising!). It's all the bells and whistles and fancy camerawork, sounds, edits, etc that scares me. I just want to be writing all the time, that's what I love the most 😭
I'm sticking to the writing! My eyes glazed over as I read what you wrote about bells and whistles for the video. No thanks! LOL
Loads of useful ideas here Alexis - I feel lighter just reading it! Thank you for the mention. ☺️
No problem! Your post was super helpful!
Alexis, I struggle with to do lists too. I am curious: how do you feel that using Google Calendar instead of traditional lists has helped with the anxiety or mental load? Is it that you're scheduling three things max? Or does Google Calendar as a platform also have something to do with it?
Hey Katharina,
Great question! I think it’s because I can break the list up into days. So whether it’s 3 tasks or less or more per day, I can schedule out the week without referring back to a long list to figure out what’s next. Each day, I know to refer to my calendar to see what I have on and I can take one day at a time. It makes it feel more manageable for me and easier to prioritize and plan my time. Especially because I have a few clients, so various projects.
But I also use it for personal reminders and then like crossing off an item on a to do list, once I complete it, I can delete it from my calendar, which feels good! And visually, the load also gets lighter each time I delete one of my to dos from my calendar.
I don’t think you have to use Google Calendar. That just happens to be what I use for all my scheduling and my personal agenda, so I know I’ll look at it every day. I can’t add a screenshot here in the comments, but if you want me to show you what I do, happy to send an image via DM! I probably could have made it clearer by adding one to this post. :)
Have I answered your question? Hope so! Otherwise, fire away. ;)
You did answer my question, thank you so much!! I think I do something similar-ish then. I like using a calendar over a to do list because it also helps me time block each item. That helps me to be realistic with how much time I might need to complete it and also takes the stress of "when today will I get to this" away because it's already scheduled in.
Makes sense! I don’t actually schedule a specific time for each item. I just add it as “all day” so it creates the 3 blocks (1 per task) and then I tackle them based on my mood throughout the day. Deep work is usually in the AM for me though! 😊
That's also a good approach. Time blocking also feels restrictive to me sometimes. I guess it's all trial and error and being open to what works one day and maybe not the next. Loved connecting over this with you!
Exactly! Take each day as it comes. ;) Me too! Thanks for reading and engaging.
Ooooof 46% higher. Yikes. It's hard to hold it all, isn't it?! I'll try take a leaf out of your book x
It’s 21%. ;) I think if it was 46% higher, I’d probably curl up into a ball and hide. lol. But it is definitely hard, regardless! Anything you’d add to the list? :)
Haha no I did the test and it was 46%... 🫣 eek
Umm spending lots of time in nature, reading escapism fiction books, and trying not to beat myself up too much? I also write done lists of everything I've done that day instead of to do lists and do bullet point journalling as I find it easier to get into than writing pages; so each line is a bullet point. It's weird but it works for me! I mean... sort of. There's obviously lot that isn't working too 😂
Haha. I think there was a glitch in the test. I’ve been walking more! Should have included that in this post. Love the idea of done lists and the bullet journal. I’m journaling digitally at the month, in Notion. Because I’m also trying to be a minimalist and all the paper journals were starting to pile up. 🤷🏻♀️
Probably explains why I just want to curl up into a ball and hide all the time 😂🙈
Ahhhhh. Sorry! I misunderstood your comment. That is quite high. Eeek! Are you in a ball right now? lol. I hope some of what I shared is helpful! What do you find works for you?
YES to all of this!!! I also have ~4~ inboxes #why and it's rediculous. And, those morning journaling sessions are EVERYTHING. Since reading the Artists Way I've been doing them and they really help so much. ♥️
They really do! I think I’ve only skipped 1 or 2 mornings in the ~8 months since I started morning pages. Glad you found this post relatable! Would you add anything?
Love these ideas. "A little less noise, a little more space..." I am with you!
Glad to hear that, Gayle! Also happy you found the ideas helpful. ❤️
This is cool really like the airplane mode tip
Thanks! That’s one of my favorites too. At first, I would still sometimes reach in the drawer for my phone, but lately, I completely forget about it. It’s great!
Alexis, this is so relatable and helpful! Thank you for sharing your honest journey with mental load. Your practical tips, like airplane mode and decluttering, are inspiring. It's powerful to see you prioritizing your well-being while navigating caregiving. Your vulnerability is a gift, and your writing resonates deeply. Keep going! ❤️
Thank you, Tom! Appreciate your kind words and I’m happy you found the post relatable! What’s your go-to strategy to reducing mental load?
That’s a great list. I still say I meditate a few times every day, but often these are just extended moments spent out of my head taking in the smells of the morning, the lives of birds, the stars and position of our galaxy, or all the life I find in the forest floor.
That’s a great addition to this list! I’m not great about meditating regularly. But I have been walking more lately, and that helps. Perhaps a form of meditation. I should have adding walking to my list! ;)