#2: Mismatched socks
But I don't think it's really about the socks.
Hello, hello!
I’m trying out a new format with today’s letter because I’d really like to publish here consistently on Mondays, but writing something long-form each week while also working on my (first!) memoir (and continuing my freelance work) is proving difficult. What have I signed myself up for?
That said, I still want to share personal stories and dispatches from everyday life with you, so I’m doing it in 100 words or fewer at the beginning of each Monday letter. You’ll still receive occasional longer pieces, interviews, and other fun stuff as it comes up.
There’s no specific theme for these tiny stories (micro memoirs?), but they’ll always be raw and honest, and hopefully sometimes humorous, too. Writing short is hard! So it’s also a way to sharpen my writing chops, and you get to see/read the progression. How fun! (Or not, let’s seeeeeeee.)
100 words
At the OB/GYN in Holland, there’s no gown. You slip into a curtained-off corner, like a retail store fitting room, and then emerge naked from the waist down. During my first Dutch OB/GYN visit, I wore a short, fitted sweater. Recently, as I sat in the chair and propped up my legs, thinking I was so prepared wearing a long t-shirt, I looked down and realized that I was wearing two different socks! I think my doctor tried to make me feel better because she said, “Well, at least it looks like they came from the same pack.”
Side note: I wrote about this same story on Threads (still have no fkn clue how to use Threads), but it went a little viral, with 111K views and hundreds of comments from women in Europe, the UK, and the US. And, of course, a man who commented, “What is the problem?” The Internet is an interesting place! Lol.
From the memoir margins
I’m currently working on the proposal for my first memoir, so last week I set a goal to have the first—very loose—outline ready. I failed. It took me longer than expected to go back through pictures and messages with my siblings from around September 2021 until early January of this year. But I’m OK with this setback. I thought reliving the experience would be sad and depressing—some of it was hard, of course—but it also reminded me of how resilient and strong we are when life throws us curveballs, as it so often does. Or perhaps this is more like a lemons-and-lemonade situation. Still processing! I have 24 legal pad pages of handwritten notes to work from now. So that’s good, at least. I think figuring out what to include and what to cut will be difficult, and I’m realizing that I want this book to be just as much about experiencing my mom’s long goodbye as how I’m carrying on and living now that she’s gone.
ICYMI: This interview with 2x author Hannah Selinger about the business of books was interesting!
Book rec: You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith
Beautiful writing, unexpected (and unique) non-chronological structure with flash essays, quotes, and other excerpts as the author navigated divorce and her version of acceptance and starting over. I felt like I was on the journey with Maggie. She doesn’t shy away from admitting that she’s still learning. She doesn’t have it all figured out, and that’s OK. It’s honest and relatable. I also admire her boundaries with the reader. She explicitly writes that she’s not willing to share—in detail—certain parts of her story, which I think is difficult with memoir writing. It sometimes feels like you need to bare all to resonate and connect with readers, but she has shown me otherwise. I finished the book feeling hopeful, optimistic, and inspired.
FYI, I’m keeping track of all my book recs here.
See you soon,
Alexis
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Mera Magazine features weekly dispatches, essays, interviews, book recs, and more from Amsterdam-based writer Alexis Mera Damen. Subscribe to show your love and stay in the know!
I intentionally wear mismatched socks all the time! It's a good look, try it out more regularly 😉
I also have very little idea how Threads works. In fact, I clicked on your link and that's the first time I've been on Threads in months (thanks...?...!) A few people told me that I should be posting more often there for various reasons, mainly to attract language learners to buy my book(s) but...you know, time, energy, my love of Substack, all kind of get in the way.