Things worth sharing...
What I've been reading, writing, watching, listening to, and thinking about lately — I hope you'll share too!
Hello from the Spanish skies. As I write this, K and I are making our way back to Amsterdam after a lovely two weeks in Luz, Portugal. We only almost killed each other a few times, which I’d say is a HUGE success when you’re together 24/7 for 16 nights. How romantic, I know. We drove along the coast one day and then watched the sunset together from the car, so I guess we’re doing something right.
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I love how travel disrupts my routine. Certain habits follow me wherever I go, but when I travel, I read way more and binge-watch a lot less TV. Groundbreaking, I know. Don’t get me wrong, I still spend a lot of time sitting on my ass, especially during this trip that I was hoping to use as a bit of a reset since life hasn’t exactly been all rainbows and sunshine lately. Is it ever?
I guess with more time spent outdoors and offline while traveling, I’m less inclined to feel like I want to stare at a black box and zone out when the sun goes down. The sunshine, something Amsterdam winters don’t bless us with, obviously helps. I need to get out more at home, clearly!
For a long time, I’ve been trying to accomplish a 4-hour workday (mainly to decrease screen time), which should be possible, given that most of the content marketing and writing I do requires deep focus, and realistically, my brain can’t handle more than 4 hours of that in a day. Apparently, full-time employees clock about 2–3 hours of deep focus work per day, with the rest spent in meetings or responding to emails and messages.
I’m a freelancer, so I don’t deal with all that, but there are still these invisible, self-imposed chains that keep me at my desk during “normal” working hours. I often find myself sitting at my desk, doing busywork to fill the time. I think it’s a case of my brain wrestling with good old should-versus-want. Am I doing this because I want to, or because I think I should? Such a simple question, but it’s often hard to decipher. Anyway, this was supposed to be a quick intro to this week’s issue of Things Worth Sharing, and now it’s becoming a bit of a philosophical work-life balance ramble… Welcome to my brain. Lol.
Weekly conversations with my 10-year-old niece are bringing me so much joy right now. The other day, she called and asked if she could sing her chorus songs to me. All four of them. It was the cutest thing. She stood in front of her phone camera, held up the sheet music, and did a little performance just for me. Our budding relationship makes me feel connected to my mom and my past. Like a full-circle moment. I can’t quite explain it. Her mini-concert reminded me of when I used to spend hours practicing gymnastic routines and then perform them for my mom in our living room. My niece also asks me questions that I once asked my mom, like “How old were you when you got your period?” I suppose motherhood/parenthood involves this type of love times a million, but I’m still fine with aunthood. Sissy, in case you’re reading this, you are raising an amazing girl.
There were so many great nuggets in Wintering by Katherine May, but my main takeaway is that it’s normal and OK to have seasons in life. We shouldn’t fight our “winters”, but embrace them instead. Ease into winter and let it run its course because eventually the grey, cold, and snow will clear and spring will come again. Winter will also come again and AGAIN, but each time you’ll be better prepared to deal with it. Have you read it? What did you think?
I was a little skeptical about A Year of Nothing by Emma Gannon because I feel like “a year of nothing” is a privilege that most people don’t have, but I like that Gannon acknowledges that. Even though a year of nothing is not in my cards, as someone who often feels like I need to do, be, or achieve more, this book feels like a little nudge to slow down and acknowledge that you’re doing enough and you are enough.
The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander is a beautifully written memoir about the author’s experience of suddenly losing her seemingly healthy husband to a heart attack. I like that she writes openly about her grieving process, and while reading her story, I couldn’t help but wish that my mom would appear in my dreams in the same way her deceased husband often did. One thing I missed, though, was more about the complexities of their relationship. Clearly, there was deep love, but there were a few instances when she mentioned they had hard times too (naturally). I wanted to know more about that side of things. Like, we lose someone we love, and of course, we’re flooded with loving, happy thoughts about them, but there are other thoughts and emotions, too. There’s unfinished business. I feel like that should be normalized and talked about. Or maybe I’m just trying to scratch my own itch, which brings me to the next point…
The three books I just mentioned have inspired me to write more candidly about this time in my life. I touched on it a bit in this post, but since writing helps me understand things better, I’m working on creating a space within Mera Magazine where I’ll write to untangle the complicated grief of losing my mom to Alzheimer’s in my 30s. My hope is that it resonates with others, too, which is something I found touching when readers wrote to me and shared their similar experiences after reading my HuffPost Personal essay about tricking my mom into assisted living. Maybe it will be my own memoir in progress, although I’m not sure how it will shape up yet. That’s the beauty of it! More on this next week.
I’m in the midst of reading Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson (thebloggess), who makes me laugh (in my head and out loud), even when she’s writing about her struggles with mental illness. I love how she takes you along on the ride of a particular time in her life, but also of the writing experience itself.
On a completely different (lighter) note, this sun cream that was recommended by two friends for a previous (skincare) edition of Things Worth Sharing is a winner. It’s the first sun cream that I haven’t wanted to scrub off my face immediately.
Have you seen Vladimir on Netflix? Steamy. But also, it made me want to buy yellow legal pads and lock myself in a cabin to write. (I’m proud of myself, this is the only series I binge-watched on holiday — ha!).
In case you missed it, earlier this week, I shared 10 books that helped me through my mom’s Alzheimer’s and long goodbye. Aside from one practical guidebook, they’re all nice reads, regardless (at least I think so).
We’re starting our descent into Amsterdam Schiphol airport, so I’ll leave it at 9 things worth sharing this week, but I have a question for you guys! I’m looking for some light, fun reads, and I imagine I’m not alone. Share your book recs in the comments, please! Thank you.
Take care,
Alexis
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The concert for one sounds amazing 🤩